I'm bringin' Paxil back

Mon, 01 Jan 2007 09:18:45 GMT

Right now, I just feel like curling up, and dying. Surprisingly, this is an improvement. I don't feel like bingeing and purging. Thank you, 5 HTP. I'm still incredibly depressed, but at least my depression won't lead to weight gain.

Thu, 23 Nov 2006 04:37:54 GMT

God, I hate you, Bulimia.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 09:14:11 GMT

The more that I think about life, the more that I hate it.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 07:46:50 GMT

If I start being happy again, he'll love me again. If I keep on being sad, he won't. The only unconditional love is from your mom.

Tue, 17 Oct 2006 07:34:24 GMT

Barbie Doll by Marge Piercy

This girlchild was born as usual
and presented dolls that did pee-pee
and miniature GE stoves and irons
and wee lipsticks the color of cherry candy.
Then in the magic of puberty, a classmate said:
You have a great big nose and fat legs.

She was healthy, tested intelligent,
possessed strong arms and back,
abundant sexual drive and manual dexterity.
She went to and fro apologizing.
Everyone saw a fat nose on thick legs.

She was advised to play coy,
exhorted to come on hearty,
exercise, diet, smile and wheedle.
Her good nature wore out
like a fan belt.
So she cut off her nose and her legs
and offered them up.

In the casket displayed on satin she lay
with the undertaker's cosmetics painted on,
a turned-up putty nose,
dressed in a pink and white nightie.
Doesn't she look pretty? everyone said.
Consummation at last.
To every woman a happy ending.

Wed, 04 Oct 2006 22:19:25 GMT

Thu, 21 Sep 2006 09:06:41 GMT

I cannot deal with this bullshit any longer. I want to delete life. This isn't a suicide post, so don't be alarmed. I'm just sick of suffering so that others can be happy.

Sat, 16 Sep 2006 08:39:39 GMT

I deleted all my entries, because I want to start over. I'm stopping my binge/purge cycle for good.